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September 13, 2007

Neuroses

I don't post much here anymore. It's not lack of desire that keeps me from posting, nor is it lack of time, though I could easily blame it on both. The truth is that I don't really know what to say.

I'm better, and then I'm not. When I'm better, I like to be outside of my house, going and creating and doing, and I adjust my schedule accordingly. The busier the better... because the busy keeps me better.

When I am not, I am... not. When I am not, I long to bare all, for reasons that I can't quite put my finger on. I think it helps me to type it all out, to let people know that "I'm not okay, okay?" and yet, I can't bring myself to do it here.

I want to. I spend much time reminding myself that I'm not supposed to care what other people think, what other peoples' opinions on my current mental state might be. Truth be told, I just need to get over it. I need to take a cue from these brave folks and just... post. Better... or not.

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